RantsNCrap

Damn the man! Another good guy lost.

The Lakers couldn’t basketball their way out of a wet paper bag. Kobe is still a jackass. Phil Jackson is still the man. End game.

Would someone explain to me why the US Senate has any business in holding hearings about scandals in sports leagues? Maybe if they spent as much time and energy doing their job instead of coming up with some bullshit call to arms because of something that happened in a private business, the United States would be a much nicer country to live in.

Congratulations! You are the Asshat Of The Week.

When your bar of soap gets dirty, what do you use to clean it?

An oldie but a goodie.

The Steve Miller band is playing on the public broadcasting station. There is nobody under the age of 108 in the audience, and there is nobody under the age of 108 on the stage for that matter. And to boot, they really aren’t that great. Their best days are definitely behind them.

That wheaty concoction that helps me hang on!

To whom it may concern,

P.S. Thanks for the great photography. Nobody is better than you. xoxo

Slap 8 - 12’s in the back of a mini truck, throw in some 2 Live, and rip it. Back in the day my truck hit a 143db at an IASCA event using this song. Don’t get all cramped up about the song, it is explicit. Consider yourself warned.

After a lengthy vacation, we here at Rants N Crap are back at it.

How come when a person has a cold, one nostril stays shut while the other stays open? And why does it change nostrils every so often?

I have a cold. I have been using more than one square to blow my nose. I wonder if Sheryl Crow cares.

In this day of candy asses, you were one badass mother. Your bustassedness will be missed.

“You gotta love a guy with the guts to strap on a helmet and stick it to the man” - Evel Knievel

Photography is the most powerful medium to tell stories. ‘Nuff said!

All baseball fields with a path of dirt from the mound to the plate should be banned.

Sony BMG’s chief anti-piracy lawyer, Jennifer Pariser: “Copying” music you own is “stealing”

What the shit? Am I in the Twilight Zone or something? Did I miss a memo? This is the exact behavior that has lead me to not buy any more cd’s, ever, that have anything to do with the RIAA or other big name recording entities. Especially Sony BMG.

Where have all the great singer/songwriters gone? Stuff such as this makes me wish we had more than two talented people left that can not only perform, but can also write.

I have caught wind that Extreme Home Makeover may be coming to Northern Nevada. From what I understand the part of the show where they show up, whisk away the family, and tear it all down and build it all up is sort of a farce. It takes time to get permits, get resources in place, and so on and so forth. They are doing huge things for people though and that is great. I can only hope that the show comes somewhere close enough to me that I can go and be a part of the build.

A lot of people want to know how to become a better poker player. This video is exactly everything you need to know to become good.

For those of you lucky enough to have been around in the late 80’s when MTV actually played videos, you will know this one. Colin Quinn was huge back then and did this as a spoof for his show. A classic, and a really close match to the LL song.

The following words have been brought to you by the new guy that is President of the University, who is only slightly better than the last idiot that was running things and the Ault puppet, AKA Groth:

The university will also make a change to its alcohol sales policy at Mackay Stadium, University of Nevada President Milt Glick and Director of Athletics Cary Groth announced. Starting with the UNLV game and continuing through the rest of the season, Nevada will limit sales to one beer per person per purchase. The university also reserves the right to cut off alcohol sales at any time during a game. As part of its standard game-day procedures, Nevada also will have continue to have security at all of the stadium gates to deny access to visibly intoxicated patrons.

This is only one of the few things that they have changed to make the games a lot less fun to attend. How about not being able to bring coolers into the game. You can only bring one 20oz water (with the top removed) into the game. They moved the students out of the south end zone effectively shutting down the home field advantage due to a few disgruntled morons that were pissed off because their kids were being exposed to the goings on. Hey idiots, why don’t you take your pussy ass selves up to the family section if you don’t like it. And now you can’t even get into the end zone (a general admission area) without said ticket. Yeah, watch out. Someone might be sneaking into the cheap seats. The food at Mackay Stadium is comparable to dog doo. The beers are overpriced, generally flat, not too cold, and are Budweiser. Yummy. And they wonder why attendance to the games has gone down the crapper.

It takes a whole lot of sack to take your fat self on national TV and try to lose weight. Weigh ins with your shirt off and your stomach sticking out all over the place is not a good feeling. Losing weight, working out, eating well, supplementing, is all a gigantic pain in the ass. If it were so easy, everyone would be doing it. You have to stay focused keeping your mind on the end product at all times. Your vision must be precise. If you waiver in the least, you will fail. These people are all winners in my book. Good job!

The Biggest Loser

Knowing John he is probably pissed off about not be able to give a post race interview after winning. What a badass.

Update: Monday, 6;45p.m. CT: John Force, seriously injured Sunday in the crash of his Castrol GTX High Mileage Ford Mustang Funny Car during the 22nd annual O’Reilly Auto Parts Fall Nationals at the Texas Motorplex, was undergoing physical therapy Monday at Baylor University Medical Center following six hours of reconstructive surgery Sunday night on his feet, legs and hands.

The 14-time NHRA Funny Car champion suffered a compound fracture of the left ankle, a deep laceration of the right knee down to the bone, broken fingers and lacerations on the right hand and a dislocated left wrist that originally was diagnosed as a dislocation and break.

The 125-time tour winner’s injuries were tended by Alan Jones, M.D., orthopedic traumatologist, Michael Foreman, M.D., chief of trauma services, and David Zehr, M.D., orthopedic surgeon and hand specialist.

“We don’t really know what went wrong,” Force said Monday after viewing video of the crash for the first time. “I don’t remember much. I remember thinking that I had to cut a light to beat (rival) Kenny Bernstein. The next thing I remember is them trying to get me out of the car.”

Force’s race car broke in half just beyond the finish line at the end of a victorious second round. The front half of the car then shot across the center line, crashing into Bernstein’s Dodge, separating the carbon fiber body from the chassis. Meanwhile, the back half of Force’s car, with the 58-year-old driver still strapped in the seat, came to rest on its side against the leftside guardwall.

“I was worried about Bernstein,” Force said, “because I knew he was in the other lane. I didn’t want to hurt anybody, especially Kenny. He’s a good friend and a great competitor – and he did nothing wrong. In fact, he did a great driving job.

“I’m just lucky to have my legs. I gnawed off some fingers and toes, but they had me up trying to stand today. They’re great people here at Baylor and I know they’ll get me up and around as soon as they can.

“The car pulled in half and I’ve never seen that, ever. A tire came off the car just as I put the parachutes out and it literally pulled the car apart. I just feel so helpless and vulnerable. I’ve been on fire from here to Australia. I’ve had some burns, but I’ve gotten out of every crash and never had a scratch. I’ve never had a broken bone (before) so this is all new to me.”

I don’t really know who is the bigger Asshat, Ahmadinejad or Lee Bollinger for inviting him to our chunk of dirt to talk shit about Americans, Europeans, and anyone else he felt like blabbing about. And then after inviting him, Mr. Bollinger proceeds to verbally abuse him with hardline questions. Congratulations to the both of you, you are the Asshats Of The Week.

“Life gives to the givers and takes from the takers” - Rev Run

BT is the guy that brought us trance. His musical talent is endless. His girlfriend isn’t half bad either (seen dancing in the video and in a phone booth.)

The following list is from the October issue of Popular Mechanics. “25 skills every man should know”. I am proud to say that I am fully proficient and have accomplished all except #3 and about half of #25.

1. Patch a radiator hose
2. Protect your computer
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
4. Frame a wall
5. Retouch digital photos
6. Back up a trailer
7. Build a campfire
8. Fix a dead outlet
9. Navigate with a map and compass
10. Use a torque wrench
11. Sharpen a knife
12. Perform CPR
13. Fillet a fish
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
15. Get a car unstuck
16. Back up data
17. Paint a room
18. Mix concrete
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
20. Change oil and filter
21. Hook up an HDTV
22. Bleed brakes
23. Paddle a canoe
24. Fix a bike flat
25. Extend your wireless network

Can I get a hells yes! Above are the two rides that Little E will be busting some ass in next year. The best driver in NASCAR now has an excellent race team behind him, sponsors that are fresh and cater to a wider audience, and a new number, 88. And a big plus is that he is bringing Tony Eury Jr. with him.

I can really see how a 70 year old woman with a brown lawn is a danger to society.

Woman Charged With Having A Bad Yard

Do I really need to explain why?

It looks as though prankster, too much money having, Barry Bonds 756th home run ball owning, Marc Ecko is in a quandary about what to do with the ball. He has set up a site to get the answer. Help him along.

What to do, what to do?

Entertainment takes up many forms. The Dan Band puts the enter in the tainment. It just doesn’t get any better than this.

You know, Budweiser Select and Butterfingers are not half bad together.

Plumb wanted to leave the music industry after the 2000 album. Lee received a note from a girl a few hours before what she thought to be her final concert. The letter was about the Plumb song “Damaged” that Tiffany had written and recorded about a girl coping with being molested as a child. The note said “‘Whatever you do, I just want you to never forget that you have changed someone’s life.” The note inspired Tiffany to remain in the music industry.

There is no stronger form of speaking than music. Music speaks to people in unique and different ways. Music is there to move and change a person. Lyrics, instruments, singers. It is a purely powerful and magic thing.

Kanye West will not only be showing up at the Emmy Awards this Sunday, but he’s also going to perform, the show’s host - Ryan Seacrest - announced on his radio gig Wednesday morning.

Allright! Kanye finally found an award show that likes black men, or at least gives two rat shits about him.

Gen. David Petraeus, the head freakin honcho in Iraq says we can bring home around 30,000 troops by next summer. Cool. I am all about getting the job done and getting on to something else, just as long as the job is done, which at this exact point in time obviously isn’t so or we would be bringing troops home now. But leave it to Mr. “my approval rating is lower than the President’s,” Harry “Pinky” Reid, who is in the know with all facets of what goes on in Iraq. Mr. Pinky seems to think that a troop withdrawal is no good. Mr. Pinky wants every one of our troops out of Iraq immediately. Mr. Pinky doesn’t know his ass from a manhole cover. I go with what Gen. Patraeus says.

It has been brought to my attention that my blog is like bungee jumping. Sheer terror most of the way down but fun none the less. Okay, so? This blog is about the injustice, stupidity, and plain out dumb ass shit that people do. Someone needs to call people out on the crap, and in my own little part of the net I have stepped up to the plate to do just that.

Now sit back, grab a Moon, light em if you got em, and let’s rock n roll.

With so much cop stupidity happening, we are going to have to start having a weekly “Don’t the cops have anything better to do” category. Leading off this week is this:

Cops Bust Up Private Poker Tourney

I wonder how much cop salary was wasted on these piddly misdemeanor charges? Way to go after the hardened criminals boys.

I know this link has been posted in this space before, but as far as I am concerned it can’t be posted enough. Take yourself there for a review. ‘Nuff said.

Here Is New York

Kanye’s backstage meltdown at the VMA’s.

It was November 17, 1991 and Detroit Lions guard Mike Utley was doing what he always did which was protecting his quarterback and blocking his heart out to help his team win.

Late in the fourth quarter of that game against the Los Angeles Rams, Utley attempted to throw a block in pass protection when he went down with an injury that would change the course of the rest of his life. He had fractured the 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae in his spine and was paralyzed.

On February 15, 1999, after nearly eight years of grueling rehabilitation and tireless work with his Foundation, Utley stood up at a hotel in Phoenix and took his first steps since that fateful day in Detroit. His accomplishment served as inspiration for anyone in a wheelchair wondering about the possibility of walking again.

“What that showed was that hard work gets you further,” he offered.

“I can’t believe she would perform. She hasn’t had a hit record in years. Maybe my money’s not right. Maybe my skin’s not right.”- Kanye West (on Britney Spears opening the MTV Video Music Awards show, and not himself.)

Yes folks, this is the same idiot that said President Bush hates black people. We like to hate Britney as much as the next person, but this is just crazy. Congrats you retarded, racist, piece of monkey swill. You are the Asshat Of The Week

“We love racin, that’s what we do. We’ll be aight.” - Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Polar Bear Population Seen Declining

I wonder if those bear burgers we had the other night are leading to this?

OK, this is bringing back some memories.

I must be getting soft or something. If I keep this up I am going to have to rename the site Hugs n Kisses. Below is a video of Juan Mann and his Free Hugs campaign. I love what this guy is doing.

Got this shirt at the Rib Cook-Off tonight:

Tonight I met a photographer by the name of Craig Fonarow who shoots in a 35mm B&W format. Very powerful photos. His website lists one of his influences as Henri Cartier-Bresson, a French photographer who pretty much invented street photography. What these two guys shoot has inspired me to shoot more B&W candids. When I look at B&W photography it screams at me. The lack of color is blinding. I am moved. More to come…

Here at Rants N Crap we certainly don’t mind us a little speeding. But when you are an habitual freakin speeding idiot such as our friend Nick Hogan, well that is just too much. Not to mention this road hazard is only 17. As you all know Mr. Hogan was involved in a massive wreck this past week in his Supra. The car is totaled (into a palm tree at over 100mph) and one of his buddies is in the hospital in bad shape. Here is a recent article from the August issue of Rides magazine:

“In my silver Viper, I was driving from Miami to Tampa. I got pulled over going 107 [mph] and the guy let me off. He’s like, “Hey, I know who you are, just keep going, ya know.” Dude, I got back on the road and two minutes later I get pulled over going 113 [mph]. Another highway patrol from the same county said, “I just heard on the radio that my buddy pulled you over and let you go. I’ma let you go this time. It’s your second warning. You get pulled over again, you’re probably going to go to jail.” Three minutes later, [I was] doing 123 [mph] in a 50 [mph zone]. The guy is like, “Hey, I just heard you got pulled over twice in the last 10 minutes. I got to write you a ticket.” - Nick Hogan

Way to go idiot! You are the Asshat Of The Week.